Jordan aka Katie PriceBecause we don’t want you to lose your lunch/dinner/supper over this, we’re posting the most restrained (seriously) photo from Jordan’s recent outing. This is her “coy” face. Ahem.

But what is with her face? It looks grey and dusty. In fact, all of her skin looks grubby, certainly not healthy. Perhaps she’s realised that orange isn’t a natural skin colour (unless you’re an oompa lumpa) and is trying something a little different but if she is then she should go back to the drawing board AND fire her make-up artist (or if she does it herself, turn off the mood can’t-see-him-properly lighting that Peter insists on at all times).

And what’s with the “dress”? Is it just a stretched pair of tights that she’s snagged on her talons then pulled up to cover her entire body? By the end of the night, it was showing the strain, with visible rips in the side, which at least gives me some (possibly misplaced) assurance that we’ll never have to see it again. If only the same could be said about her boobs…

Jordan aka Katie Price