Jordan: words fail me

As my mum, friends and Vodaphone will testify, it’s not often that I’m short of words. Words are my life as well as my job. And yet …. Jordan.

You really have to see the bigger version of this to take it all in (click the “read more” link below to do so) because, really. Yes. … See what I mean? Where are the words to describe it?

Is she trying to look like a Barbie doll? Scratch that, of course she is. But my Barbie wouldn’t be seen dead/melted-by-my-brother in something as straggly as that skirt. And also her tops fitted her properly. And her hair wasn’t that cheaply shiny. And Barbie’s eyes didn’t look quite so lifeless and drawn on. And we still have the dull grubby tan I was complaining about just the other day.

The photo on the book cover shows what we all know - that Katie Price is a pretty girl - but Jordan? Jordan is something else entirely.