Sandra Bullock has revealed that getting to know her now-husband Jesse James caused her to reconsider people she’d brushed off in the past.

She told In Style magazine recently that her first impressions of Jesse weren’t good: “I assumed he was a homophobic chauvinist, a bigot who killed people. And later I felt saddened by my assumptions because I wondered how many times had I written off people who truly were real.”

She added that their good relationship is built on spending plenty of time together: “You know how you see sweet relationships not work because of time spent apart? Going for more than five days without seeing Jesse is hard.”

“People are so good at attending to their jobs, their plants, their pets. Why is it that when it comes to a relationship, we just sort of go, oh, it’s here. It should just work. It doesn’t!”