Suzanne ShawDancing on Ice winner Suzanne Shaw has revealed she had two breakdowns between being in chart-topping band Hear’Say and winning the skating competition at the weekend.

She told the Sun recently: “I slid into depression after Hear’Say split [in 2002]. I went from playing to arenas packed with 14,000 people to performing in front of 300 people with tickets not selling well.”

“I felt I had hit rock bottom and couldn’t see a future. I’d had stardom at such a young age - I was only 18 when I hit the spotlight - and I think the pressures of that got to me.”

“I had worked for two years non-stop and suddenly I had nothing. I didn’t know where I was headed or what I was going to do.”

“I hid the truth for a long time because I felt it made me a lesser person. I would binge. I often drank a bottle of vodka a night and at one point I thought I was becoming an alcoholic.”

“If it wasn’t for my mum, who is a psychiatric nurse, I would have been in hospital. I wanted to admit myself. I knew I had lost the plot but my mum nursed me through it.”

“Eventually I went to see a GP while we were performing in Wolverhampton. I was prescribed anti-depressants and gradually began to feel better.”

But she then had a second breakdown in 2005 after boyfriend Darren Day left her when their son Corey was three months old: “Darren and I seemed to have a lot in common. He had been through therapy and depression and knew all the right things to say. I found him sweet and charming and quickly fell for him.”

“Our relationship was volatile because Darren was taking drugs. He’d disappear for days on end then come home on a downer and take it out on me. He’d kick holes in the wall and I often had to duck to dodge flying plates.”

“When I accidentally fell pregnant, I stopped taking my medication and plunged back into depression. I was as much a lost soul as Darren. Then Corey was born and I couldn’t cope. Darren was as much a baby as Corey and I felt I was looking after two children.”

“When Darren left, I was furiously resentful. I thought, ‘How dare he leave us to pick up the pieces emotionally and financially?’ I strove to hold myself together, for Corey’s sake. I was trying to be the perfect mum, putting myself under huge pressure and constantly feeling a failure because I couldn’t live up to my expectations.”

“I’d gone back on the anti-depressants soon after Corey was born, but felt ashamed that I couldn’t cope so I stopped taking them after six months. I went into a horrible state. I would stay in bed for days on end, crying uncontrollably.”

“I begged my mum to have me put away. I knew I had broken down. But she saved me from hospital. She came to stay and helped me pick up the pieces.”

“I managed to learn to forgive myself and nowadays if I have a low mood it passes quickly because I’ve learned to accept it instead of being frightened by it.”