Amy Winehouse’s husband admits he got her started on drugs
Throughout their 18 month marriage, Team Amy have frequently claimed Blake introduced her to drugs and other destructive habits while Team Blake, primarily his parents, have claimed the reverse is true.
However, now in a taped interview transcribed in the News of the World, Blake is said to have admitted Amy became intrigued after he used heroin and crack in front of her: “I made the biggest mistake of my life by taking heroin in front of her.
“I introduced her to heroin, crack cocaine and self-harming. I feel more than guilty.
“Heroin and crack took hold of me and f***** me up. It made me not look out for the woman that I love more than anyone else in the world.
“The first time Amy took crack she [had] asked me, ‘Can I try a bit of that’.
“Crack is the nastiest drug. It makes you paranoid, unreasonable, edgy and totally suspicious of everyone. And you can get hooked on it straight away. But I was weak and an addict and I let Amy take some.
“I didn’t stop it from happening. For that I take full responsibility. It became something we did as well as heroin. And then our lives fell apart.
“I was there when Amy suffered her first seizure [in August 2007]. I still break down thinking about it. We had been taking drugs all day long - heroin and crack.
“We started early and finished late. We didn’t really think to stop. We both pushed things too much. I wanted to just disappear on drugs and not remember a thing. And while I was getting out of my head, I wasn’t thinking that I was taking somebody with me.
“Then my wife, who I love with all my heart and soul, just started shaking violently in front of me.
“It was heartbreaking, seeing someone you love more than yourself, someone you would die for, someone you would kill for on the floor shaking.”
He explained that when Amy came around she “went hysterical and mad” and didn’t know where she was or recognise anyone: “I will go to my grave with that picture of Amy asking me, ‘Who are you? Who are you?’ She didn’t know who I was. I told Amy, ‘I’m your husband’.
“I knew f***ing then that I had ruined something beautiful. It was all my fault. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life.”
Three months later, Blake was arrested and placed in jail on remand on perverting the course of justice charges: “I just couldn’t believe that after our wonderful marriage - the happiest day of my life - we were going to be torn apart.
“I felt inadequate. I felt unworthy of Amy. I felt that she should be with some other pop star or film star. Not be with some little chav from Camden.
“[Just before I was arrested] I cut my arms after we fell out over doing too much drugs and losing sight of ourselves.
“Amy got really upset about seeing me bleeding. And because she’s loyal and f****d up over our love - like Romeo and Juliet - she cut her arms too. I had to get her stitched up.”
Blake remained in HMP Pentonville until his trial in June and after pleading guilty to assault charges as well the attempting to pervert the course of justice, he was sentenced to further jail time. After continuing to use drugs in jail, he was released into rehab last month and now insists he’s drug-free: “Yes, I’m clean. Yes, I’m off drugs. But I don’t deserve to be clean.
“I don’t deserve to be the one in rehab. Amy does. Amy deserves to be in here, getting clean, getting ready for a fresh start in life. I do not deserve to be in here when someone I love is suffering. I deserve to be in the f****** gutter.”
But amid rumours that Amy is talking to divorce lawyers, Blake added he won’t go back to live with Amy once he’s released: “I will never stop wanting Amy and loving her and craving her. More than anything I am addicted to Amy. I will do anything for her - and that includes walking away.
“There are still reasons that Amy and I don’t like to be sober and if I go back to her I am basically saying, ‘It’s all right to kill yourself Amy’.
“Even if I was strong enough to resist drugs - and I’m not - it’s a ticking timebomb. I accept that there is every horrible, horrible chance that I could be tempted to take drugs again if I went back to Amy.
“I’m distraught and can’t stop crying. I can’t believe that because of drugs I’m going to lose my soulmate. Without crack and heroin Amy would be making beautiful music and I would be doing my video production job and we’d both be so happy. But because of drugs it’s all gone.”
“My fantasy is that one day fate might bring us back together when Amy is clean. In an ideal world me and Amy would live together in a nice house with our two kids and all of this would be a distant f****** memory. That would be my dream.
“What people don’t realise is that Amy is an amazing wife, an amazing home-maker and a beautiful figure in the home. You would be surprised the domestic bliss you can have with Amy just doing the cooking and caring for you.
“But because of drugs we can’t have a normal life together. That’s why I have to let her go.”